Uncategorized

Weeds?

Dandelions. I can see them out my window as I type. They could ruin my day. The yard is full of them, and they’re technically a pest. Are they, though? The other day, someone told me that the dandelions remind her of Switzerland. I’ve been to Switzerland, and it was beautiful. And I love that way of looking at it. Perhaps one of these days I’ll kill off those dandelions and my grass will be free of weeds (temporarily). Until then, I’m going to enjoy my view that reminds me of Switzerland.

Love,

Laur

Uncategorized

Like Mike

Recently, we said goodbye-for-now to an amazing man. He left too early, and many mourn his loss. He is my big brother (in-law). His name is Mike Harper. There are so many things I could tell you about him, from his deep love and commitment to his family, to his profession in dentistry, to his ability to encourage everyone around him…there is much to say, but words don’t really feel adequate to express what I feel. Since music tends to come a little closer, I decided to write a song. I look forward to seeing him again- hearing his laugh, getting a big Mike hug, catching up…

We love you, Mike.

Music

STRONG!

Photo by Meghan Holmes on Unsplash

Hey friends, I finished another song! This one is called “Strong.”

I started a membership at Cor620 (a crossfit-like gym) last June. I had run consistently through the winter, but I wanted to add strength training in to my routine and develop more endurance. I also needed a coach that could help with some frequent problem areas, like my hip and knee.

I went to the 3 introductory classes and as I attempted several different things. One of the challenges was to climb a rope that was attached at the ceiling. I had earned a gold medal (a butterscotch hard candy that Mr. Olsen used to hand out as a “medal” in gym class) for climbing highest and fastest in the 6th grade! Somehow my attempt didn’t look so pretty at 39 years old. During those first few weeks, my coach would often say, “Use your strength.” She explained to me that my strength was in my core. While I would gain muscle gradually, if I used my current core strength, I could do more than I thought I could. She was right. While my first lame attempts to pull myself up a rope ended in feeling quite silly and very almost-40, by adjusting my attempt so that I was using my strength (pulling the rope in to my chest and holding it there instead of extending my arms out, I could make a jump and hold myself up on the rope a few feet above the floor. By locking out my arms and tightening my core, I did my first adult handstand against a wall. I had built all kinds of limitations around myself, making assumptions about what I was physically capable of, and one at a time the coaches helped me tear down those limiting beliefs. It was so empowering!

I have now been a member of this gym for 9 months. There are days I feel sore, days I feel scared of hurting my body, days I feel excited and empowered, and days I’m yawning and wonder how I can get through the workout and everything in between. It’s been a beautiful journey.

This song is my tribute to the coaches at Cor620 and the community and experiences there that have blessed my life!

Here it is!

“STRONG”

Composition, Arrangement, Backup instrumentation recording, and Vocals: Laura Harper

Audio engineering wizardry (including recording my vocals, mixing, mastering, teaching, supporting…etc): Andy Rumsey at the Spokane Library.

Cause it makes me happy...

It’s Monday….

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Good morning, friends! Happy Monday.

Is your Monday feeling happy so far? Maybe it’s far more real with a combination of all the feels by 11am. That’s where I’m at. I’ve pretty much hit the whole range already and I haven’t even stopped for lunch. Ha! I’m learning that “real” is not only okay, it’s good. In the middle of the “real” I grow, I discover things about myself and others, I learn to reach up in faith and savor with gratitude those things that delight me. I cry or squirm or rejoice or feel bored. All of it is part of the earth-life experience.

I found a BYU devotional very inspiring the other day. I have been learning to feel all my feelings, not just the fun and happy ones, and not let my gut take the load. But I loved how this encouraged me to experiment with how smiling could change my perspective and lighten my load- even just a little. Something that might bring a little sunshine on your Monday!

Love,

Laur

SIX THINGS I BELIEVE, By Gus Hart

Some years ago I served as the bishop in my ward (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints). It was so rewarding but also very challenging. I couldn’t stop worrying. I wondered why this special calling felt like such a burden at times, even though I constantly saw small miracles and I knew, at least intellectually, that the Lord was in charge. Still, emotionally, I couldn’t leave all the worry to Him. I didn’t know how to let go of it.

I fasted several times, asking for the Lord to take the worry away. In time He helped me understand that the worry was evidence that I loved the people I served and that as long as I cared for them, the worry would not go away completely. Knowing this helped me live with the worry and carry the burden.

One cold winter Sunday morning I was on my way to the church. It was pitch-black. The worry and the burden and the perceived unfairness of being up so early on a cold, dark Sunday morning felt particularly heavy. I had been fasting for help. And then an answer came. Simple. My Heavenly Father said just this: “Smile!” And I did. Instantly I felt better. I felt lighter. I saw serving my ward family as a privilege. Instead of focusing on the dark, cold morning, I could focus on the bright, happy faces of those who were serving with me. Instead of thinking about the struggles people faced, I could focus on their efforts, their examples, their faith, and their progress.

Now, I realize that simply smiling may not be a universal solution. I realize many people struggle with mental and emotional challenges that require professional help. But this was an answer after I had fasted and prayed specifically about my circumstance, and I share it, hoping it might help somehow. A smile can change my outlook.

Some days I feel like the imposter scientist. But when I smile, I believe that my best work is still ahead of me, and I am not ashamed of the things I don’t know yet or even the things that I knew and then forgot.

Some days I feel my faith is weak. But when I smile, I know the opposite of faith is not doubt—the opposite of faith is certainty—and I am grateful for what I do believe.

Some days I wish I would have been a better father when I was raising my kids. But when I smile, I realize they still listen to me. And I see them as Heavenly Father sees them and believe they will continue to grow and amaze me. I see them, as my patriarchal blessing says, as “jewels in my household” and see my family as my “greatest joy.”

Some days I feel the loss—the deep loss—of three sisters taken by cystic fibrosis before they had a chance to grow up. I feel so sorry for my parents. But when I smile, I look forward to knowing my sisters again—and knowing them better. And I revel in the nine crazy, interesting, and life-enriching siblings I am still with.

Some days I replay videos in my head of dumb things I did or unkind things I said or did, and I wonder, “How could anyone listen to me give a talk like this and not think, ‘Gus is such a hypocrite’?” But when I smile, my own weakness is the lens I need to see others clearly—to see them and love them as people like me who are a mix of good and bad traits, still trying to become the people they want to be but not quite there yet.

Some days I feel discouraged that my body is aging. I still want to improve my handball game and win the Utah state handball championship. I want to set new personal record times on my mountain-bike rides. I want to be shredded. But when I smile, I am grateful I can play handball, I can ride my mountain bike, I can use my hands to type, and I can see to read.

When I smile, I am grateful I can taste my wife’s amazing cooking and smell and see the beautiful flowers she grows in her enormous garden. I am grateful I am healthy enough to do anything my kids and grandkids do.

Music

Hold to the Rod

“I’m Holding Fast” by Kylie Lee (check out “Art by Kylie Lee” on Etsy for more beautiful artwork!)

Woah, I was a kid in a candy shop today! A few months ago I found out about an opportunity about an hour and a half away from me where you could book an audio engineer + sound room + tons of music gear for a four hour time frame for FREE. It was too good to pass up, even though I didn’t know what to expect. Turned out it WAY exceeded my expectations and the audio engineer was amazing. I got to record vocals and watch a master do his magic, and came out with a beautiful recording I am excited to share with you!

I named this one “Hold to the Rod.” For those who are not members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, there is a story in the Book of Mormon that is well loved in the church. Lehi, a prophet of God living in Jerusalem hundreds of years before Christ was born, had a vision. In this vision he saw an iron rod which led to a tree. Many people were holding to this rod, and had to walk through periods where there were mists of darkness and it was difficult to see. But those who held on to the rod through the mists eventually would make it to the tree and would get to partake of this fruit which is unbelievably delicious and representative of the Love of God.

This song is directed toward those who are currently in the middle of the mist. It is hard to see, and they doubt that the rod will actually lead them where they are wanting to go- toward God. It is written from the perspective of someone who has passed through the mist and now can see clearer. The encouragement is to “hold to the rod” through the mists until you can see the light again.

I have passed through time periods where the things I was so sure of felt so confusing. I had to trust during that time that the path I was on was leading in the right direction. Ultimately, I chose to trust that I was not in full control, and if I held on, God would help me find my way through the mist. And He has. He has filled me with hope, guided me with patience, and gifted me with moments of peace that reassured me He was and is and will always be there for me.

Here is “Hold to the Rod.”

Composition/Arrangement/Orchestration/Vocals: Laura Harper

Recording/Mixing/Mastering: Andy Rumsey (THANK YOU!!!) at Spokane Public Library